Get ready for spooky laughs and honest reviews as my daughter Lily rates my Halloween food creations — from cheesy “zombie brains” to chocolate mummy disasters! Discover which dishes were terrifyingly tasty and which were frightful flops below.

Lily and I Rate My Halloween Food: The Good, The Bad and The Epic Fail

Every October, Pinterest seems to come alive with bubbling cauldrons, edible eyeballs, and biscuits that look far too realistic for comfort. As a very basic cook (Jonny is definitely the real chef in our house), I decided to see what all the fuss was about. How hard could spooky food really be? Armed with food colouring, a mountain of chocolate buttons, and one very honest eight-year-old, I gave it my best shot. Let’s see if Lily was actually impressed as we rate my Halloween cooking — the good, the bad, and the epic fails.

Zombie Brains

(meant to be creepy, cheesy pasta shells dyed red)

L: I’m giving this an eight out of ten! The pasta was really cheesy. I’d give it a ten, but you could kind of taste the food colouring.

E: I don’t really know how to get around that.

L: Maybe use ketchup?

E: …that would be disgusting!

L: err so is food colouring!

Rating: 8/10

Chocolate Marshmallow Mummies

(supposed to be chocolate pastries wrapped like bandaged mummies)

L: Five out of ten. They didn’t look good and they didn’t taste that good either.

E: The marshmallows went hard!

L: You shouldn’t have used that, Mum. Not great — but still better than your normal baking.

E: …Thanks? I think?

Rating: 5/10

Spider Cheesy Crackers

(Ritz crackers sandwiched with cheese spread and crisp “legs”)

L: Nine out of ten! They were lovely! They looked really good too — I’m actually impressed.

E: Glad you liked them! Finally something that worked.

Rating: 9/10

Pumpkin Wraps

(Jack-o’-lantern quesadillas with melted cheese filling)

L: Nine out of ten again. It was really cheesy, but the face just wasn’t very good.

E: I obviously need more experience cutting wraps.

L: I’ll do it next time, Mum. I’ve got more experience cutting from school.

E: I cut loads in my job!

L: No you don’t! Teachers use one of those page cutter things!

E: A guillotine? Fair enough, you can do the cutting next year.

Rating: 9/10

Carrots and Cucumbers

(meant to look like tiny pumpkins and aliens)

L: Four out of ten. What even were they?

E: Pumpkins and aliens!

L: They tasted nice but you’re rubbish at cutting food, Mum.

E: Alright, you have made your point there.

Rating: 4/10.

Hotdog Fingers

(hotdogs with ketchup “blood” — spooky snack style)

L: Six out of ten. They looked good, but you put way too much ketchup.

E: I can guarantee if I hadn’t, you’d have asked for more.

L: No, Mum. You ruined it.

E: So harsh!

Rating: 6/10

Monster Croissants

(croissants filled with marshmallow teeth and chocolate eyes)

L: Ten out of ten! They tasted amazing, looked really good, and were just so nice.

E: Even Noah was impressed — he’s been asking for monsters for breakfast ever since!

L: You actually did really well here, Mum.

E: Should I carry on baking next year or are you going to do a better job?

L: Only if you teach me how to cook.

E: I need to learn myself first!

L: Yeah… better ask Dad.

Rating: 10/10

Final Thoughts

E: So there we have it — a few wins, a few disasters, and a kitchen covered in icing sugar.

L: And washing up that you still haven’t done.

E: True. But we enjoyed it didn’t we Lils? It’s the thought that counts.

L: Well, I think you should really learn how to cook next time.

Reflections

If I’m honest, these little experiments aren’t really about the food at all. They’re about the giggles, the mess, and Lily’s face when something actually turns out half-decent.

I used to look at other people’s perfect Halloween trays and feel a bit inadequate — but the truth is, ours might look like a horror show, yet they’re ours.

Each lopsided spider and gloopy “brain” will live on in family stories far longer than a picture-perfect bake.

And that, I think, is the real win. 🧡

If You Enjoyed This Post…

You may also enjoy finding out what we got up to this Halloween holiday in our 5★ Review: Pontefract Castle, West Yorkshire and 5★ Review: Swithens Farm Pumpkin-Picking Evening, Rothwell, Leeds review.

If you enjoyed Lily’s involvement you may also like Lily Tries the Free Autumn Activity Pack | Family Fun at Home, or check out her corner for more posts featuring Lily.

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